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obstacles

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January 17, 2018 By Melendy Johnson

Self-ish or self care? You decide!

do it 2018Self care starts with realizing your worth.

In today’s society where we have everything at our fingertips we often feel a sense of needing to accomplish it all at once. Self care can often take a back seat to our lives. Sometimes we push ourselves to the bottom of the list.

We don’t drink enough water.

We skip the gym.

We eat fast food.

We don’t make the phone call.

We skip doctors appointments.

We ignore a symptom.

We don’t read the book.

Why do we do these things? Because we live in a world of right now, most important, have to be done tasks. We live in a place where we literally are never out of touch. There is nowhere to hide. Our phones are our portable offices, and we spend a lot of time feeling guilty about where we spend our time.

Stopping to take care of ourselves can be seen as selfish. Time at the gym while your husband/wife makes dinner, spending time on a hobby instead of answering an email, a night out with friends while your children stay with the in-laws. These things are hard to balance, and hard to explain to ourselves when the world around us says, be ready, get your work done, be available, everything is an emergency.

You know what- I want to change that name- it isn’t selfish, it is self worth.

We don’t drink enough water.    Your body needs water to function

We skip the gym. You body needs physical movement to keep working.

We eat fast food. Food is fuel. We shouldn’t deprive our bodies or feed it junk

We don’t make the phone call. Our relationships keep our emotional health happy.

We skip doctors appointments.  Regular visits with the doctor help us to be on top of our health

We ignore a symptom. Symptoms are a signal – we need to follow through.

We don’t read the book.  Books help us explore our world, our self, or escape reality for a moment of time.

The reality is that the guilt we feel when taking the time to do things for ourselves is placed there by how we think others feel about us. About or decisions, as parents, business people, athletes, lovers, women/men, daughters /sons,

Why do we care so much? The world we live in is a world that values our Social Media standing over our self worth standing. We need to take back self care – Go to the gym, read the book, go on the date, call your friends, listen to the symptoms, get your check ups, and even spoil yourself with a massage, your nails, your hair, whatever makes you feel better about you! Self care is so not selfish, and it is necessary for you to grow.

….

I challenge you to pick one piece of self care that you wish you had in your life right now, and then Set goals to make it a reality. Feel free to comment here to dd some accountability!

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January 4, 2018 By Melendy Johnson

Truth Time – The real (confident) me…

Truth about me

Truth time – The Real me needs some work.

I am confident that I am not 100% happy with my body – heck who is?!

If we were all confident in our bodies gym’s wouldn’t exist!gym reasons

I am confident that I am working hard on that – As hard as I can want to.

We all have areas where we don’t put in the effort we know we should.

I am confident that I often fail at that hard work – and occasionally binge on Ice cream to feel better!

Although – I will say Ice Cream hasn’t even been in my mind in a few months!

I am confident that I have a new determined focus to succeed – because if I don’t take care of me, who will?

With a new year- many think of things they want to change.

Personally, those changes have been happening for over a month now! Research and classes for my business, re-joined the gym and I actually go,  planner organization has begun, podcasts full of inspirational speakers, and building a community around me to help me succeed.

Even doing any of that has been a huge step for me. I questioned a lot of the steps I make and got stuck in something my friend calls – Analysis Paralysis.analysis paralysis I spent so much time analyzing that I didn’t spend a lot of time doing. Every step of every process was over analyzed, and underdone. Going for a simple run became needing my water, shoes, outfit, music, and running plan perfectly paired. If one thing got off, I froze.

I cannot say what the exact cure for my analysis paralysis was, but some of it came from a big dose of reality a coach gave me. “Melendy – the only person keeping you from being successful is you…” I knew the truth, but I hadn’t heard the voice.  I knew it was me – I knew I needed a mindset shift, but – I hadn’t heard it. The only thing keeping me from running – was me. What was keeping me from growing my business?Me! The only one standing in the way of my happiness – you guessed it – ME!

perfectI spent a very long time trying to be perfect.

In whose eyes? I don’t know. I felt like I couldn’t go out of the house without the perfect outfit, couldn’t ‘go live’  without makeup, silence, a perception of everything is okay. therefore – I froze.  Guess what – Everything isn’t always okay. I know, Shocker! I am learning to live in the chaos of life, and be willing to step out of my “perfect” comfort zone.

Shifting my mindset to a “Do it” model, and subsequently pushing myself into the work that is going to drive me forward has been a huge boost for me. Scheduling my time, being intentional about my actions, believing I am worthy of the time, and believing others are worthy of my time as well has created an amazing arc in my attitude, and the enjoyment of the day to day!worthy

What do you need a mindset shift about?
Do you want someone to hold you accountable?
Are you ready to take the next step to work hard for the change you want to make?
If you are – leave a comment so that I can help you redirect you mindset and grow into you!

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August 21, 2017 By Melendy Johnson

Anxiety -Hiding in myself

Anxiety – is a feeling inside of you that never goes away.
I never felt comfortable in social situations. I would always be thinking –

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Am I dressed the right way?”

“Are they laughing at me?”

The cycle of internal speech I had learned from myself always answered back with-

“They don’t like you!”

“You look horrible/fat/ugly!”

“They are laughing at you”

The problem is, after years of this internal self dialogue, I stopped asking the questions, I assumed the answers, and I would come up with reasons not to go out, reasons not to show up, reasons to back out. I didn’t feel worthy of doing any of it.

The tipping point for me was one date night – Steve and I had a sitter, we had a plan to go see one of his friends at their restaurant, and we got dressed up, and we went out. We pulled into the parking lot, and I had a panic attack. I couldn’t open the door, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t go inside.  Steve was angry – he didn’t understand, and I was sad because I just wanted to be able to get dressed up and go out. The only person stopping me – was me.

This needed to change. I couldn’t be the wife he needed me to be, or the mom I needed to be if I couldn’t enjoy social situations. My anxiety was digging me into a hole where no one could come in and I couldn’t get out. I said stop – this needs more than I can do on my own. I talked to my doctor, and we decide to do something about it.

This was a time before LuLaRoe was in my life. This was a time when I was finishing college (as an adult) and trying to find my identity outside of mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend. I didn’t have a definition who I was. Those other definitions are amazing definitions if you feel complete. I did not. This is what needed to change. I set out a plan to be more intentional, take small steps, and change what I could.

A lot has changed since that date night. Through LuLaRoe, I have overcome many of my anxiety holds. I am constantly meeting new people, entering unfamiliar environments, and socializing with new people every day. Honestly, I  cannot pinpoint the moment the change happened, but I can say – I have never felt more alive. I get to meet new women every day. Women who are looking for a dress for a date, a chance to earn free clothes, women who haven’t worn a dress for years who slip one on and their eyes light up. I realized that if I hadn’t opened my doors, my home, my heart to welcoming others in, I wouldn’t have been able to offer that dress, those clothes, or that sparkle of joy in those women’s lives. I found my reason – my completion.

This weekend, I had a conversation with a friend, and she said something to me that made me realize, I needed another change. She said, “Melendy – you are an inspiration to me.” – what a powerful statement. Then, she continued to tell me that knowing where I was in my anxiety, and where I am now, she saw the ability to find herself through her own anxiety. She thought she needed a career to feel whole, but she has realized that being a wife/mom/friend made her feel fulfilled. Her joy is in being with her children and being present.

While we were talking, a third friend joined in the conversation. She informed friend ‘A’ that she was inspired by her ability to be home with her children…a table of inspiration. None of us walked into that room and said – I want to be an inspiration. We walked into the room and all thought let’s have a fun night. The next change I need to make is I need to talk about it more. I need others to know they are not alone. What is so wrong with being an inspiration, or even a launching point for others to find themselves.

Finding yourself. That is the hardest thing to do. Are there days it is hard? Of course there are,but I have grown from where I was. There is a confidence in myself, a confidence I didn’t know was deep down inside me. The cycle of self doubt and self destructive dialogue do show up on occasion- but they don’t have a place at my table anymore. I have set a place for – love – welcome – joy – sharing – friends – and living life!

What do you set a place for at your table?

Who can you inspire?

How can I help you?

(disclaimer – I am not a doctor, and If you are struggling with feelings of Anxiety or depression – you should seek help from a medial professional – and your friends and family you can find information here)

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August 12, 2017 By Melendy Johnson

smile – when you need some humor in your day

Smile

Who doesn’t love a good laugh? I know I do.

Laughter can come from the most random places. A quick text from a friend, an accidental spill,  a look between you and your lover. Any of these can create a sense of happiness that bubbles from your toes to your mouth and explodes in a roar!
Today, I stopped and had several moments of laughter. I had been feeling a little down, and I decided to change that. So I said yes to the play date, and the text from a friend, and the customer who wanted a close up. I smiled more, thought less, and I decided that my happiness is up to me.
We have so much to be happy about, but sometimes the “musts” in life creep in, they stop you from being happy about life, because you are focused on the musts, you can’t see the do’s. As someone who has suffered with postpartum depression, anxiety, and self doubt, I know when these feelings of gluing myself to the chair and never leaving my house start to sink in that I need to smile or laugh, or just feel the sun on my face.

It is NEVER easy to get up and do the things you need when you feel down. For a week, I have felt down. For a week I have been unsure, and two days ago I told Steve. Talking is always the first step… Today, Today I finally got out, I didn’t make an excuse. I went out, talked to other moms, was honest about how I was feeling, had a good laugh, and came home happy again. I am in no way 100%, but, I made progress. I smiled. I don’t ever talk to others about the darkness that creeps in, just Steve.   I am learning how to seek out the medicine I need to get through it – connections.

funny texts

Tonight, a text from a friend, a mom talk during a play date, and a hug and a smile from my love brought me back.
What brings you back?
What helps you to be okay again? to step out of your funk?
for me – sunshine, and laughter.

How can I help you get through?

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August 7, 2017 By Melendy Johnson

Be proud of who you are, and what you do

Proud to Edit to add – I have since left my LuLaRoe business. I loved what I did, but had some family issues that left me unable to maintain the level of business we were at. The premise of this article rings true – what ever you do – have pride in who you are and how hard you work!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

When you were a child do you remember getting a sticker on your paper? Or a smiley face drawn on by the teacher? How did you feel? You were proud! As we get older, we are taught to be humble, to be kind, and not to boast. Is it truly boasting though if you are doing something that makes you feel good?

track
Steve and I had the experience of coaching some amazing athletes at track and field this season. It is always pride filing to watch these youth go from fear to belief in themselves. We give them the tools to do what they have the physical ability to do, and they soar. Several of our athletes qualify for the National level of the Junior Olympics this year, and it was humbling. The biggest thing we did as a team was to win a local meet. This meet is regional and teams from all over the area come to compete. It was exciting to watch our athletes reach PR’s, do things they hadn’t before, and be proud of their work!

In our day to day life – we work our LuLaRoe business together. We are having much success, and enjoy the work that we do. Why is it that I have a hard time talking about this success? I want others to know that this woman who disliked everything about herself a year ago has found out how to love herself because of the work she is doing with LuLaRoe. I found myself “Turtleing” when people ask what I do, or how it is going. You know – when you pull your head into your neck and round your shoulders.

I don’t do that anymore – or at least I try not to. It turns out that the sales figures I have, and the work I am doing puts me in the top 1% of the company. I didn’t know that, I assumed I was average, I assumed others were doing it the same or better. you know what they say about assumptions.  I was setting personal PR’s, but I was also creating a sustainable business and keeping it to myself. That helps no one!

lularoe retailer

Today I am making a change. I am choosing to be proud of the work I am doing, and to share that with others. Someone else could benefit from my success story, and I don’t want to take that away from them.
So I will share. I will tell people about my success, and what the benefit is for my family, because I can do this, and stay humble, and possibly change a life all at the same time.

What can you share? How could it help someone else? Will you share?

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July 24, 2017 By Melendy Johnson

Never have I ever…a Tale in courage and anxiety

Let’s play a game –

It’s called Never Have I Ever –

Usually this is a drinking game where you take a drink every time someone says something they have never done that you have. For the purposes of this exercise, lets do 1 burpee for every item you have done that I haven’t.

Never have I ever – traveled alone

Never have I ever – gone on a work trip

Never have I ever – been away from my children for a long period of time

Never have I ever  – stayed at a hotel alone

This coming week – I will get to do a burpee for all of those -and it is scary… exciting and scary.

I have already tackled obstacles one and two so that is something to be okay with!

Obstacle one – getting tickets and reservations – Way back in the beginning of April  I was able to get a ticket to the LuLaRoe annual Convention. I was at a point where I was stepping up my business, and working towards being a better business owner. I knew that this convention would be a game changer for me, so I had to go, and Steve supported me fully.

The months have rolled on, and always in the back of my min was obstacle two – what to pack!!! How do you dress for a fashion event filled with like minded clothing obsessed ladies! I spent a few months putting the clothes I thought I would bring into a laundry basket in the corner of my room. It was something constantly buzzing in the corner of my mind for the last few weeks, so the fact that I am packed is a stress relief. not completely, but it helps!

That one was hard –

The past week I have been really focused on obstacle three – my our business while I am away! I have monthly sales goals set for myself, and I am close to them this month, but I leave Tuesday… Unfortunately my dream of going for the week and leaving Steve to enjoy the boys is turning into leaving Steve to make a few sales! I know he can, I know he will, but the plan didn’t work the way I wanted, and that is ok!

The most important obstacle, obstacle four – my family. Steve travels for business a lot. I do not. I have never traveled alone, haven’t flown in 5 years, and well, I have Never used a ride service (not a taxi or a ride share, maybe a bus and a train!) I don’t know how to be away from my family. The look in Aaron’s eyes said it all yesterday. He asked how many minutes to where I was going…my heart sank – he doesn’t know. So I showed him California on my map, and then said do you want to see Rhode Island? his eyes welled with tears and took a big gulp. “When will you be home?” I am gone for a week but we can talk every day! “Ok, will you be awake when we are asleep?” for some of it! “Ok” and off he went to play. I hope he can hop off to play on Tuesday when he wakes up and I am on a plane…”

I am sure there will be other obstacles, but I don’t leave until Tuesday AM. We have some time to overcome them.

I end this game of Never -Have -I – Ever with this question – What have you never done that you wish you could do? What are your obstacles? Are you willing to do to overcome them and take on your Never?

 

My challenge to you – Go do it!
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Hello!

Welcome! I am so excited to share all things life with you! Recipes, fashion, workouts, relaxation, packing lists - you name it - I love it! I am a mom to three teenage boys, and a wife to my best friend. I coach youth track and field, and teach preschool. Life is always busy, and always fun here! Join in and share the fun!
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