Lifestyle with Melendy

a mom sharing her Recipes, Inspiration & Life

lifestyle

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Hydration – Why we need it – and a challenge.

Proper hydration is one of the easiest health factors we can control.
We all know that the standard for water intake is 8-8oz glasses of water a day.
If you are looking to loose weight  that number changes. The standard is half an ounce to an ounce of water for every pound you weigh. I am WAY under hydrating for that number. Why more for loosing weight? Because we need to flush out the toxins in our body that happen when we are exercising more, and eating healthier.
Why is it so hard to maintain that appropriate level of hydration, and what can we do to fix that?

For me – one of my biggest motivators for getting something accomplished is having an accountability partner. If I am accountable to someone, I am more likely to complete that task. This is why, when my LuLaRoe Facebook group concurred with me that hydration was a big problem for them, I decided to start a hydration challenge.

Today will be set up – determine how much water you need to drink each day, and then make a plan. I have found that when I write a goal down, and then tell someone, I am more likely to complete that goal!
As the challenge goes on, The goal will be to see that it is easy to hydrate with a plan.

As a reward – well, you will have to come back and see – but I hope that this challenge will give people a chance to come together as a community, and take steps towards self care.

What are you doing for self care? Do you want to join in my hydration challenge? just sign up for my email list here!
https://melendyandsteve.com/water

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Truth Time – The real (confident) me…

Truth about me

Truth time – The Real me needs some work.

I am confident that I am not 100% happy with my body – heck who is?!

If we were all confident in our bodies gym’s wouldn’t exist!gym reasons

I am confident that I am working hard on that – As hard as I can want to.

We all have areas where we don’t put in the effort we know we should.

I am confident that I often fail at that hard work – and occasionally binge on Ice cream to feel better!

Although – I will say Ice Cream hasn’t even been in my mind in a few months!

I am confident that I have a new determined focus to succeed – because if I don’t take care of me, who will?

With a new year- many think of things they want to change.

Personally, those changes have been happening for over a month now! Research and classes for my business, re-joined the gym and I actually go,  planner organization has begun, podcasts full of inspirational speakers, and building a community around me to help me succeed.

Even doing any of that has been a huge step for me. I questioned a lot of the steps I make and got stuck in something my friend calls – Analysis Paralysis.analysis paralysis I spent so much time analyzing that I didn’t spend a lot of time doing. Every step of every process was over analyzed, and underdone. Going for a simple run became needing my water, shoes, outfit, music, and running plan perfectly paired. If one thing got off, I froze.

I cannot say what the exact cure for my analysis paralysis was, but some of it came from a big dose of reality a coach gave me. “Melendy – the only person keeping you from being successful is you…” I knew the truth, but I hadn’t heard the voice.  I knew it was me – I knew I needed a mindset shift, but – I hadn’t heard it. The only thing keeping me from running – was me. What was keeping me from growing my business?Me! The only one standing in the way of my happiness – you guessed it – ME!

perfectI spent a very long time trying to be perfect.

In whose eyes? I don’t know. I felt like I couldn’t go out of the house without the perfect outfit, couldn’t ‘go live’  without makeup, silence, a perception of everything is okay. therefore – I froze.  Guess what – Everything isn’t always okay. I know, Shocker! I am learning to live in the chaos of life, and be willing to step out of my “perfect” comfort zone.

Shifting my mindset to a “Do it” model, and subsequently pushing myself into the work that is going to drive me forward has been a huge boost for me. Scheduling my time, being intentional about my actions, believing I am worthy of the time, and believing others are worthy of my time as well has created an amazing arc in my attitude, and the enjoyment of the day to day!worthy

What do you need a mindset shift about?
Do you want someone to hold you accountable?
Are you ready to take the next step to work hard for the change you want to make?
If you are – leave a comment so that I can help you redirect you mindset and grow into you!

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Do It 2018 – Words of Inspiration as we look forward

In 2018 – I am looking forward to using my word (or rather, phrase) for the year, and it starts today. My phrase is “Do it”. Over the last year I have developed this blog with the help of others. I have built my business to a point where Steve and I will enjoy the LuLaRoe Cruise in February. Challenged myself to step out of my comfort zone on many occasions, met new people. I  learned a new instrument, began a running regiment that I have mostly maintained, and accepted that my weight loss journey is going to be one that takes more than a few trips to the gym and an occasional salad. I have done a lot in the last year that I would have never done, but I still held back.

For 2018, my goal is to do more. Plan appropriately, but DO more. When I question if I should do something or not, I ask myself 3 questions now –
1-Do I WANT to do it? If I don’t want to do it, I won’t do it.
2-Is this beneficial to me, my family, others, or my business? If I spend my time doing things that aren’t beneficial, I wont feel fulfilled, and I will stop doing those things.
3-Am I willing to commit the (time/talent/energy/focus) that this adventure/project/training/group deserves? I do not want to commit to something and be half in. I want to be all in, Otherwise, I am not giving my best, and that isn’t how I want to be known.

So, I took some time, and I researched some motivational quotes to help me through this new year. Each one spoke to me for a different reason, but the resounding theme was the same – DO IT!  I intend to print them and post them in my office space, I want to see the visual reminders of what I intend to do this year.  Let’s discuss each for a moment!

“Well done is better than well said.” Benjamin Franklin – How true is it that your actions speak way louder than your words. I would much rather be known for what I DO and how you feel around me than for what I said – or someone said I said. I want to be intentional with my actions this year!

“We are what we repeatedly do.” Aristotle. Habits take 21 days to create – and can be broken in the same. If I am not repeatedly doing the things I want to do to better myself, my business, or my family, then they aren’t going to become a habit. being intentional about my actions will create the habits I want to form!

“By Failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail” – Benjamin Franklin. Setting forth a plan of action, and doing my best research, due diligence, and preparation means that I have a better chance of being successful. Often times I am either 9 million hours of planning and no action, or zero planning and failed action. My intention is to find balance between those lines to create more intentional and better actions.

 

“Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four Sharpening the Axe.” Abraham Lincoln. preparation is good – bust focused attention to the best tools for the task at hand only makes the job easier. Sometimes it is easy to dive forward and want to just do, but I need to remember that proper preparation, planning, and use of my tool box will create an easier job in the long run.

“The most effective way to do it, is to do it.” – Amelia Earhart. I have been focused on my actions. Writing intentionally, scheduling posts so that I am ready for the day ahead, following up with friends, family, group members whom I know I need to follow up with. Setting up a plan for the future. All the planning in the world won’t make it happen. Only actions can do that!

And finally,  My word/phrase for 2108 – ready for me to not let fear take a hold. Ready to dive in. My original graphic has the phrase – ‘Fear is the Thief of dreams’.  I love that subtitle because- it is true! Being afraid causes us to pause, to freeze, to not do. So, in order to rise, to grow, to cultivate my new me, my new business goals, my new dreams, I need to let go of fear – And – DO IT!

So, What are you doing this year? What are you looking forward to with hope. How do you want 2018 to end? In order to know our path, we need to know our destination. Follow me here as I dive into this year of doing more, and worrying less. Are you with me? Share your word/goals for this year so that we can move forward together!

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Anxiety -Hiding in myself

Anxiety – is a feeling inside of you that never goes away.
I never felt comfortable in social situations. I would always be thinking –

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Am I dressed the right way?”

“Are they laughing at me?”

The cycle of internal speech I had learned from myself always answered back with-

“They don’t like you!”

“You look horrible/fat/ugly!”

“They are laughing at you”

The problem is, after years of this internal self dialogue, I stopped asking the questions, I assumed the answers, and I would come up with reasons not to go out, reasons not to show up, reasons to back out. I didn’t feel worthy of doing any of it.

The tipping point for me was one date night – Steve and I had a sitter, we had a plan to go see one of his friends at their restaurant, and we got dressed up, and we went out. We pulled into the parking lot, and I had a panic attack. I couldn’t open the door, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t go inside.  Steve was angry – he didn’t understand, and I was sad because I just wanted to be able to get dressed up and go out. The only person stopping me – was me.

This needed to change. I couldn’t be the wife he needed me to be, or the mom I needed to be if I couldn’t enjoy social situations. My anxiety was digging me into a hole where no one could come in and I couldn’t get out. I said stop – this needs more than I can do on my own. I talked to my doctor, and we decide to do something about it.

This was a time before LuLaRoe was in my life. This was a time when I was finishing college (as an adult) and trying to find my identity outside of mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend. I didn’t have a definition who I was. Those other definitions are amazing definitions if you feel complete. I did not. This is what needed to change. I set out a plan to be more intentional, take small steps, and change what I could.

A lot has changed since that date night. Through LuLaRoe, I have overcome many of my anxiety holds. I am constantly meeting new people, entering unfamiliar environments, and socializing with new people every day. Honestly, I  cannot pinpoint the moment the change happened, but I can say – I have never felt more alive. I get to meet new women every day. Women who are looking for a dress for a date, a chance to earn free clothes, women who haven’t worn a dress for years who slip one on and their eyes light up. I realized that if I hadn’t opened my doors, my home, my heart to welcoming others in, I wouldn’t have been able to offer that dress, those clothes, or that sparkle of joy in those women’s lives. I found my reason – my completion.

This weekend, I had a conversation with a friend, and she said something to me that made me realize, I needed another change. She said, “Melendy – you are an inspiration to me.” – what a powerful statement. Then, she continued to tell me that knowing where I was in my anxiety, and where I am now, she saw the ability to find herself through her own anxiety. She thought she needed a career to feel whole, but she has realized that being a wife/mom/friend made her feel fulfilled. Her joy is in being with her children and being present.

While we were talking, a third friend joined in the conversation. She informed friend ‘A’ that she was inspired by her ability to be home with her children…a table of inspiration. None of us walked into that room and said – I want to be an inspiration. We walked into the room and all thought let’s have a fun night. The next change I need to make is I need to talk about it more. I need others to know they are not alone. What is so wrong with being an inspiration, or even a launching point for others to find themselves.

Finding yourself. That is the hardest thing to do. Are there days it is hard? Of course there are,but I have grown from where I was. There is a confidence in myself, a confidence I didn’t know was deep down inside me. The cycle of self doubt and self destructive dialogue do show up on occasion- but they don’t have a place at my table anymore. I have set a place for – love – welcome – joy – sharing – friends – and living life!

What do you set a place for at your table?

Who can you inspire?

How can I help you?

(disclaimer – I am not a doctor, and If you are struggling with feelings of Anxiety or depression – you should seek help from a medial professional – and your friends and family you can find information here)

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8 minutes…

Today is the start of week 7 with my running coach – Week 7!

They say it takes 21 days to form a new habit – or to become adjusted to a new routine.

It took me 7 weeks – but running 3-4 times a week, this was my 21st run.

21 times I got up, put on my  “I don’t want to”
 “Big Girl” shoes, grabbed my headphones, my playlist, my water, and my running plan.

21 times I did it.

8 Minutes – that is what I ran for today – my whole run was over half an hour, but I ran for 8 minutes straight –

Minute one – I’m not ready

Minute two – only 6 to go

Minute three – Maybe I cannot do this

Minute four – halfway there

Minute five – maybe I should have started slower

Minute six – two minutes to go…

Minute seven – one to go, that wasn’t so bad!

Minute eight – maybe I could have done 10!

and then there was the rest of the ladder.

But I ran for 8 minutes.

When I started this program 21 runs ago, I couldn’t run for one minute straight.

My progress may seem slow, but to me, it is exactly what I needed to do. my body is slowly changing, my waistline getting a little more definition, my abs a little tighter, loosing some of the roundness in my face.

What am I gaining?
Strength
Endurance
Confidence
Resilience
the ability to understand my splits and pace

courage

All things I was lacking before I started running.

I am so grateful that one Saturday morning my now coach took a chance and asked if I wanted to train with her. She asked if I wanted some guidance in my running. She led with value, and offered me the ability to find myself at my own pace. She sends reminders when it has been too long since I have run, and rejoices in my triumphs when I overcome an obstacle.

There are so many excuses I could have made – so many things I could have let get in the way yet 21 times I said yes, and today I rejoice in 8 minutes! Maybe tomorrow I will do 10.

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What do you want to make a new habit?

What are the excuses you tell yourself?

Go do it! Make that change for you!
Let me be your inspiration – and you go be mine!

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smile – when you need some humor in your day

Smile

Who doesn’t love a good laugh? I know I do.

Laughter can come from the most random places. A quick text from a friend, an accidental spill,  a look between you and your lover. Any of these can create a sense of happiness that bubbles from your toes to your mouth and explodes in a roar!
Today, I stopped and had several moments of laughter. I had been feeling a little down, and I decided to change that. So I said yes to the play date, and the text from a friend, and the customer who wanted a close up. I smiled more, thought less, and I decided that my happiness is up to me.
We have so much to be happy about, but sometimes the “musts” in life creep in, they stop you from being happy about life, because you are focused on the musts, you can’t see the do’s. As someone who has suffered with postpartum depression, anxiety, and self doubt, I know when these feelings of gluing myself to the chair and never leaving my house start to sink in that I need to smile or laugh, or just feel the sun on my face.

It is NEVER easy to get up and do the things you need when you feel down. For a week, I have felt down. For a week I have been unsure, and two days ago I told Steve. Talking is always the first step… Today, Today I finally got out, I didn’t make an excuse. I went out, talked to other moms, was honest about how I was feeling, had a good laugh, and came home happy again. I am in no way 100%, but, I made progress. I smiled. I don’t ever talk to others about the darkness that creeps in, just Steve.   I am learning how to seek out the medicine I need to get through it – connections.

funny texts

Tonight, a text from a friend, a mom talk during a play date, and a hug and a smile from my love brought me back.
What brings you back?
What helps you to be okay again? to step out of your funk?
for me – sunshine, and laughter.

How can I help you get through?

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Staycation – When I want to be a tourist

Have you ever Needed a staycation?
I have been back home from California for a week, but – I am feeling the need for some down time with the family!
Living in one of the best vacation destinations in the world (in my opinion!) means that sometimes we miss out on the paces and events that make our state special.
Sometimes it takes someone else showing us what we are missing for us to truly see it.
Every year my aunt and uncle travel from the middle of the country back to the Ocean State for a visit. This visit means that we get a chance to explore the Ocean State like we were tourists. With so much to explore in such a small state, the nice thing is you can decide each morning what you want to do!
There is  something about taking the day off, heading to the beach , and just enjoying time together that actually makes everything seem really amazing again. I love the fact that when they are  here we splurge on things like seafood and trips to Newport, and sometimes Maine. We take the time to pause, breathe,  look at the ocean and remember the reasons we live where we live.
I look forward to their visits every year. Having family that lives so far away is hard when the closest airport to them costs us about $1000 per person to visit, it seems out of reach. The fact that they are drawn to the Ocean, back home, and that we can see them and enjoy their company makes it worth so much more than any airfare could be. I live in a state where I am no more than 30 minutes from the Ocean no matter where I am, and I have not visited the beach yet this summer!! I long for their visits because I get to come home too, see the state I love, and be a part of their home coming too.
 Rhode Island
What do you love about where you live?
What would you do if you were a visitor in your own state?
What would you miss?
What is keeping you from getting out and exploring like a tourist?
Go do it!

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how a dress changed my life…

We all have that one outfit – The one we love the most. you know the one – The outfit that when you wear it – you run the world!
For me – This is the dress. You see, this dress is the one I was wearing the day i decided to join LuLaRoe. It fits me perfectly, and is covered with the most amazing floral pattern. My grandmother had the best garden, and when I wear floral, I feel like I am close to her.

Isn’t it funny how something like a flower on a dress, or a whiff of perfume can bring you back to a moment. My grandmother was in love with fashion, she owned hundreds of shoes and had closets filled with clothes. Her costume jewelry collection was astounding, and her real jewelry was very well cared for. A true southern belle, she was always well put together. I always wanted to be that way.

As a little girl I would get dressed up with gloves and hats. I was also really good at being a Tomboy though. I was never afraid to get dirty, and I often wonder how my grandmother felt about that. I wanted nothing more than to fit in, be beautiful, and love who I was. As the teenage years began, I started to realize, I didn’t love me. That “Unlove” of myself lasted a long time. I questioned friendships, lovers, adults. I did not believe I was worth loving. The one I cared about the most was my Gram.

Reaching into adulthood, being a wife, a mom, and never finding me in any career was so hard. Then – A dress – this dress, and I felt comfortable – beautiful – confident. This confidence led me to a decision that changed my life. The rest is history, but this dress, it brings me back every time.

What draws you in? what creates memories for you? how do you use it to strengthen your present?

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Be proud of who you are, and what you do

Proud to Edit to add – I have since left my LuLaRoe business. I loved what I did, but had some family issues that left me unable to maintain the level of business we were at. The premise of this article rings true – what ever you do – have pride in who you are and how hard you work!
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When you were a child do you remember getting a sticker on your paper? Or a smiley face drawn on by the teacher? How did you feel? You were proud! As we get older, we are taught to be humble, to be kind, and not to boast. Is it truly boasting though if you are doing something that makes you feel good?

track
Steve and I had the experience of coaching some amazing athletes at track and field this season. It is always pride filing to watch these youth go from fear to belief in themselves. We give them the tools to do what they have the physical ability to do, and they soar. Several of our athletes qualify for the National level of the Junior Olympics this year, and it was humbling. The biggest thing we did as a team was to win a local meet. This meet is regional and teams from all over the area come to compete. It was exciting to watch our athletes reach PR’s, do things they hadn’t before, and be proud of their work!

In our day to day life – we work our LuLaRoe business together. We are having much success, and enjoy the work that we do. Why is it that I have a hard time talking about this success? I want others to know that this woman who disliked everything about herself a year ago has found out how to love herself because of the work she is doing with LuLaRoe. I found myself “Turtleing” when people ask what I do, or how it is going. You know – when you pull your head into your neck and round your shoulders.

I don’t do that anymore – or at least I try not to. It turns out that the sales figures I have, and the work I am doing puts me in the top 1% of the company. I didn’t know that, I assumed I was average, I assumed others were doing it the same or better. you know what they say about assumptions.  I was setting personal PR’s, but I was also creating a sustainable business and keeping it to myself. That helps no one!

lularoe retailer

Today I am making a change. I am choosing to be proud of the work I am doing, and to share that with others. Someone else could benefit from my success story, and I don’t want to take that away from them.
So I will share. I will tell people about my success, and what the benefit is for my family, because I can do this, and stay humble, and possibly change a life all at the same time.

What can you share? How could it help someone else? Will you share?

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Never have I ever…a Tale in courage and anxiety

Let’s play a game –

It’s called Never Have I Ever –

Usually this is a drinking game where you take a drink every time someone says something they have never done that you have. For the purposes of this exercise, lets do 1 burpee for every item you have done that I haven’t.

Never have I ever – traveled alone

Never have I ever – gone on a work trip

Never have I ever – been away from my children for a long period of time

Never have I ever  – stayed at a hotel alone

This coming week – I will get to do a burpee for all of those -and it is scary… exciting and scary.

I have already tackled obstacles one and two so that is something to be okay with!

Obstacle one – getting tickets and reservations – Way back in the beginning of April  I was able to get a ticket to the LuLaRoe annual Convention. I was at a point where I was stepping up my business, and working towards being a better business owner. I knew that this convention would be a game changer for me, so I had to go, and Steve supported me fully.

The months have rolled on, and always in the back of my min was obstacle two – what to pack!!! How do you dress for a fashion event filled with like minded clothing obsessed ladies! I spent a few months putting the clothes I thought I would bring into a laundry basket in the corner of my room. It was something constantly buzzing in the corner of my mind for the last few weeks, so the fact that I am packed is a stress relief. not completely, but it helps!

That one was hard –

The past week I have been really focused on obstacle three – my our business while I am away! I have monthly sales goals set for myself, and I am close to them this month, but I leave Tuesday… Unfortunately my dream of going for the week and leaving Steve to enjoy the boys is turning into leaving Steve to make a few sales! I know he can, I know he will, but the plan didn’t work the way I wanted, and that is ok!

The most important obstacle, obstacle four – my family. Steve travels for business a lot. I do not. I have never traveled alone, haven’t flown in 5 years, and well, I have Never used a ride service (not a taxi or a ride share, maybe a bus and a train!) I don’t know how to be away from my family. The look in Aaron’s eyes said it all yesterday. He asked how many minutes to where I was going…my heart sank – he doesn’t know. So I showed him California on my map, and then said do you want to see Rhode Island? his eyes welled with tears and took a big gulp. “When will you be home?” I am gone for a week but we can talk every day! “Ok, will you be awake when we are asleep?” for some of it! “Ok” and off he went to play. I hope he can hop off to play on Tuesday when he wakes up and I am on a plane…”

I am sure there will be other obstacles, but I don’t leave until Tuesday AM. We have some time to overcome them.

I end this game of Never -Have -I – Ever with this question – What have you never done that you wish you could do? What are your obstacles? Are you willing to do to overcome them and take on your Never?

 

My challenge to you – Go do it!
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