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depression

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January 17, 2018 By Melendy Johnson

Self-ish or self care? You decide!

do it 2018Self care starts with realizing your worth.

In today’s society where we have everything at our fingertips we often feel a sense of needing to accomplish it all at once. Self care can often take a back seat to our lives. Sometimes we push ourselves to the bottom of the list.

We don’t drink enough water.

We skip the gym.

We eat fast food.

We don’t make the phone call.

We skip doctors appointments.

We ignore a symptom.

We don’t read the book.

Why do we do these things? Because we live in a world of right now, most important, have to be done tasks. We live in a place where we literally are never out of touch. There is nowhere to hide. Our phones are our portable offices, and we spend a lot of time feeling guilty about where we spend our time.

Stopping to take care of ourselves can be seen as selfish. Time at the gym while your husband/wife makes dinner, spending time on a hobby instead of answering an email, a night out with friends while your children stay with the in-laws. These things are hard to balance, and hard to explain to ourselves when the world around us says, be ready, get your work done, be available, everything is an emergency.

You know what- I want to change that name- it isn’t selfish, it is self worth.

We don’t drink enough water.    Your body needs water to function

We skip the gym. You body needs physical movement to keep working.

We eat fast food. Food is fuel. We shouldn’t deprive our bodies or feed it junk

We don’t make the phone call. Our relationships keep our emotional health happy.

We skip doctors appointments.  Regular visits with the doctor help us to be on top of our health

We ignore a symptom. Symptoms are a signal – we need to follow through.

We don’t read the book.  Books help us explore our world, our self, or escape reality for a moment of time.

The reality is that the guilt we feel when taking the time to do things for ourselves is placed there by how we think others feel about us. About or decisions, as parents, business people, athletes, lovers, women/men, daughters /sons,

Why do we care so much? The world we live in is a world that values our Social Media standing over our self worth standing. We need to take back self care – Go to the gym, read the book, go on the date, call your friends, listen to the symptoms, get your check ups, and even spoil yourself with a massage, your nails, your hair, whatever makes you feel better about you! Self care is so not selfish, and it is necessary for you to grow.

….

I challenge you to pick one piece of self care that you wish you had in your life right now, and then Set goals to make it a reality. Feel free to comment here to dd some accountability!

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August 21, 2017 By Melendy Johnson

Anxiety -Hiding in myself

Anxiety – is a feeling inside of you that never goes away.
I never felt comfortable in social situations. I would always be thinking –

“What if they don’t like me?”

“Am I dressed the right way?”

“Are they laughing at me?”

The cycle of internal speech I had learned from myself always answered back with-

“They don’t like you!”

“You look horrible/fat/ugly!”

“They are laughing at you”

The problem is, after years of this internal self dialogue, I stopped asking the questions, I assumed the answers, and I would come up with reasons not to go out, reasons not to show up, reasons to back out. I didn’t feel worthy of doing any of it.

The tipping point for me was one date night – Steve and I had a sitter, we had a plan to go see one of his friends at their restaurant, and we got dressed up, and we went out. We pulled into the parking lot, and I had a panic attack. I couldn’t open the door, couldn’t breathe, couldn’t go inside.  Steve was angry – he didn’t understand, and I was sad because I just wanted to be able to get dressed up and go out. The only person stopping me – was me.

This needed to change. I couldn’t be the wife he needed me to be, or the mom I needed to be if I couldn’t enjoy social situations. My anxiety was digging me into a hole where no one could come in and I couldn’t get out. I said stop – this needs more than I can do on my own. I talked to my doctor, and we decide to do something about it.

This was a time before LuLaRoe was in my life. This was a time when I was finishing college (as an adult) and trying to find my identity outside of mom, wife, sister, daughter, friend. I didn’t have a definition who I was. Those other definitions are amazing definitions if you feel complete. I did not. This is what needed to change. I set out a plan to be more intentional, take small steps, and change what I could.

A lot has changed since that date night. Through LuLaRoe, I have overcome many of my anxiety holds. I am constantly meeting new people, entering unfamiliar environments, and socializing with new people every day. Honestly, I  cannot pinpoint the moment the change happened, but I can say – I have never felt more alive. I get to meet new women every day. Women who are looking for a dress for a date, a chance to earn free clothes, women who haven’t worn a dress for years who slip one on and their eyes light up. I realized that if I hadn’t opened my doors, my home, my heart to welcoming others in, I wouldn’t have been able to offer that dress, those clothes, or that sparkle of joy in those women’s lives. I found my reason – my completion.

This weekend, I had a conversation with a friend, and she said something to me that made me realize, I needed another change. She said, “Melendy – you are an inspiration to me.” – what a powerful statement. Then, she continued to tell me that knowing where I was in my anxiety, and where I am now, she saw the ability to find herself through her own anxiety. She thought she needed a career to feel whole, but she has realized that being a wife/mom/friend made her feel fulfilled. Her joy is in being with her children and being present.

While we were talking, a third friend joined in the conversation. She informed friend ‘A’ that she was inspired by her ability to be home with her children…a table of inspiration. None of us walked into that room and said – I want to be an inspiration. We walked into the room and all thought let’s have a fun night. The next change I need to make is I need to talk about it more. I need others to know they are not alone. What is so wrong with being an inspiration, or even a launching point for others to find themselves.

Finding yourself. That is the hardest thing to do. Are there days it is hard? Of course there are,but I have grown from where I was. There is a confidence in myself, a confidence I didn’t know was deep down inside me. The cycle of self doubt and self destructive dialogue do show up on occasion- but they don’t have a place at my table anymore. I have set a place for – love – welcome – joy – sharing – friends – and living life!

What do you set a place for at your table?

Who can you inspire?

How can I help you?

(disclaimer – I am not a doctor, and If you are struggling with feelings of Anxiety or depression – you should seek help from a medial professional – and your friends and family you can find information here)

This post may contain affiliate links. Find more information here

August 12, 2017 By Melendy Johnson

smile – when you need some humor in your day

Smile

Who doesn’t love a good laugh? I know I do.

Laughter can come from the most random places. A quick text from a friend, an accidental spill,  a look between you and your lover. Any of these can create a sense of happiness that bubbles from your toes to your mouth and explodes in a roar!
Today, I stopped and had several moments of laughter. I had been feeling a little down, and I decided to change that. So I said yes to the play date, and the text from a friend, and the customer who wanted a close up. I smiled more, thought less, and I decided that my happiness is up to me.
We have so much to be happy about, but sometimes the “musts” in life creep in, they stop you from being happy about life, because you are focused on the musts, you can’t see the do’s. As someone who has suffered with postpartum depression, anxiety, and self doubt, I know when these feelings of gluing myself to the chair and never leaving my house start to sink in that I need to smile or laugh, or just feel the sun on my face.

It is NEVER easy to get up and do the things you need when you feel down. For a week, I have felt down. For a week I have been unsure, and two days ago I told Steve. Talking is always the first step… Today, Today I finally got out, I didn’t make an excuse. I went out, talked to other moms, was honest about how I was feeling, had a good laugh, and came home happy again. I am in no way 100%, but, I made progress. I smiled. I don’t ever talk to others about the darkness that creeps in, just Steve.   I am learning how to seek out the medicine I need to get through it – connections.

funny texts

Tonight, a text from a friend, a mom talk during a play date, and a hug and a smile from my love brought me back.
What brings you back?
What helps you to be okay again? to step out of your funk?
for me – sunshine, and laughter.

How can I help you get through?

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Welcome! I am so excited to share all things life with you! Recipes, fashion, workouts, relaxation, packing lists - you name it - I love it! I am a mom to three teenage boys, and a wife to my best friend. I coach youth track and field, and teach preschool. Life is always busy, and always fun here! Join in and share the fun!
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