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accountability

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June 29, 2018 By Melendy Johnson

A Numbers Game

What do numbers mean to you

Numbers

What are these little things we see everywhere?

Numbers

They create a sense of accomplishment,

A sense of self

A sense of self worth.

Value

Place

Location

Numbers define our lives more than we realize.

Our income

Our debt

Our giving

They define our self

Our weight

Our height

Our clothing size

They define our home

How much

What area

How many rooms

They define our accomplishments

What place

What grade point average

How many followers we have

How many likes we get.

But why do we give numbers so much worth in our lives?

 

Because we learn to from the moment we are born. As a mother, I can remember the first questions I would be asked about my pregnancies. What is your due date? How far along? How many weeks? How long until you know the gender? How many are there? How many will you have? All of these questions require a value, a number.

Then, once you have your child, the first things people want to know about a baby are their height and weight. (Numbers)

Then time and date (numbers)

Then weeks/months/years (numbers)

How many words? (Numbers)

We are measured by numbers from the very beginning. We learn that these numbers hold value. They define who we are. People see us as the skinny or fat baby, the tall or short child, the rich or poor person based on numbers.

 

We try so hard to change these numbers. To make them different. To make them better. Being better or best means having the highest or the lowest number (depending on what you are talking about). Being better or the best means comparing yourself to others. We should always caution ourselves from being too quick to compare ourselves to others. When we do that to our children we can create a world of hurt.

As a mom, I often find myself saying that the first or the second or the third child did x, y, or z at such and such an age. Then, I find myself saying this to another parent when we compare our children. It is like a three ring circus of “well, my child was walking at 10 months old. How about yours?” And “Oh! Well, my child could read at the age of 2.” Followed quickly by an occasional, “Well, my child was playing Mozart at three.” And so on. It really makes me sad to think I have done that about and to my children. I Am trying not to do that anymore. I try to use names and their character to describe them, but sometimes that is hard in a society of numbers.

Motherhood and life are filled with so many numbers. At one point in my own life running seemed like a good idea. How hard could it be, right? So, I signed up for a 5K. I never practiced, never warmed up, and just showed up to run. I came in last place. It took me 47 minutes to run that 5K and it was the most grueling 47 minutes of my life. Those numbers have improved drastically over time with focus, practice, and dedication.

Why did that bother me? Because I let that get to me. I let those numbers give me value. I have learned that those numbers only hold value in that they pushed me to run faster and farther, and to understand that it takes practice to improve my running numbers.

As parents we wanted to choose a sport for our boys that would help them find their values: hard work, dedication, teamwork, good sportsmanship, etc.. The sport we chose for them is all about the numbers : track and field.Aaron Running

Talk about numbers, this sport is about how fast, what place, and how far. We chose it because the one thing I did learn from that race was that I could better myself from that time. Track & Field is a sport that doesn’t compare you to someone else. Well, it doesn’t if you do it right. As coaches and parents we are constantly telling our runners to do THEIR best. Not to worry about the other runner’s best, but to focus on what they can do to beat themselves. We push them in practice to stretch, run, jump and throw better every time. This dedication has lead to personal bests for many of our runners, and even a showing at the Junior Olympics.

The numbers here show our runners that they have grown. That their hard work is paying off. That dedication and focus will lead to great rewards. This lesson is not just for running or jumping or throwing, but it will play out in life.

If they focus on the task at hand, do what they have learned to do and dedicate themselves to it, they will find that they are capable of growing at any task.

Numbers. They mean so much, but also, so little.

Love yourself!A number can never compare to the worth a person feels inside. The sense of accomplishment and wonder someone feels as they rise above a challenge and grow from it. No number can ever replace that feeling.

So I challenge you. Move forward with fewer numbers. Credit yourself for what you can do, and find your non-number worth. What makes you fully you? How do you find your non-number worth? For me, it is how happy my children are, what they believe they can do, the joy in my marriage, and what I know I am capable of. Numbers do not need to define any of that!

be free to love yourself for you

Leave a comment and help others find ways to find their worth as well

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January 17, 2018 By Melendy Johnson

Self-ish or self care? You decide!

do it 2018Self care starts with realizing your worth.

In today’s society where we have everything at our fingertips we often feel a sense of needing to accomplish it all at once. Self care can often take a back seat to our lives. Sometimes we push ourselves to the bottom of the list.

We don’t drink enough water.

We skip the gym.

We eat fast food.

We don’t make the phone call.

We skip doctors appointments.

We ignore a symptom.

We don’t read the book.

Why do we do these things? Because we live in a world of right now, most important, have to be done tasks. We live in a place where we literally are never out of touch. There is nowhere to hide. Our phones are our portable offices, and we spend a lot of time feeling guilty about where we spend our time.

Stopping to take care of ourselves can be seen as selfish. Time at the gym while your husband/wife makes dinner, spending time on a hobby instead of answering an email, a night out with friends while your children stay with the in-laws. These things are hard to balance, and hard to explain to ourselves when the world around us says, be ready, get your work done, be available, everything is an emergency.

You know what- I want to change that name- it isn’t selfish, it is self worth.

We don’t drink enough water.    Your body needs water to function

We skip the gym. You body needs physical movement to keep working.

We eat fast food. Food is fuel. We shouldn’t deprive our bodies or feed it junk

We don’t make the phone call. Our relationships keep our emotional health happy.

We skip doctors appointments.  Regular visits with the doctor help us to be on top of our health

We ignore a symptom. Symptoms are a signal – we need to follow through.

We don’t read the book.  Books help us explore our world, our self, or escape reality for a moment of time.

The reality is that the guilt we feel when taking the time to do things for ourselves is placed there by how we think others feel about us. About or decisions, as parents, business people, athletes, lovers, women/men, daughters /sons,

Why do we care so much? The world we live in is a world that values our Social Media standing over our self worth standing. We need to take back self care – Go to the gym, read the book, go on the date, call your friends, listen to the symptoms, get your check ups, and even spoil yourself with a massage, your nails, your hair, whatever makes you feel better about you! Self care is so not selfish, and it is necessary for you to grow.

….

I challenge you to pick one piece of self care that you wish you had in your life right now, and then Set goals to make it a reality. Feel free to comment here to dd some accountability!

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January 7, 2018 By Melendy Johnson

Hydration – Why we need it – and a challenge.

Proper hydration is one of the easiest health factors we can control.
We all know that the standard for water intake is 8-8oz glasses of water a day.
If you are looking to loose weight  that number changes. The standard is half an ounce to an ounce of water for every pound you weigh. I am WAY under hydrating for that number. Why more for loosing weight? Because we need to flush out the toxins in our body that happen when we are exercising more, and eating healthier.
Why is it so hard to maintain that appropriate level of hydration, and what can we do to fix that?

For me – one of my biggest motivators for getting something accomplished is having an accountability partner. If I am accountable to someone, I am more likely to complete that task. This is why, when my LuLaRoe Facebook group concurred with me that hydration was a big problem for them, I decided to start a hydration challenge.

Today will be set up – determine how much water you need to drink each day, and then make a plan. I have found that when I write a goal down, and then tell someone, I am more likely to complete that goal!
As the challenge goes on, The goal will be to see that it is easy to hydrate with a plan.

As a reward – well, you will have to come back and see – but I hope that this challenge will give people a chance to come together as a community, and take steps towards self care.

What are you doing for self care? Do you want to join in my hydration challenge? just sign up for my email list here!
https://melendyandsteve.com/water

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Welcome! I am so excited to share all things life with you! Recipes, fashion, workouts, relaxation, packing lists - you name it - I love it! I am a mom to three teenage boys, and a wife to my best friend. I coach youth track and field, and teach preschool. Life is always busy, and always fun here! Join in and share the fun!
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