How often do we guilt ourselves about the things in front of us?
The cookies in the staff room, the cake at the party, the cheese on our taco…
I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for a large part of my life. I eat my feelings, I am over weight, under nourished, and often guilt myself out of eating what I want because I don’t think it is what I “need”.
Today is my mom’s birthday. I knew there would be cupcakes in the staff room. I knew we would be encouraged to eat them, and I knew that I would want one. I dreaded eating it. I have been eating healthier options, smaller portions, and upping my hydration. So eating a cupcake the size of Texas was not in line with what I had been wanting to do for my health.
But you know what – I ate the fucking cupcake.
I ate it because I wanted to. Because I knew that cupcake was worth the calories in. I knew that celebrating my moms birthday was worth more than my waistline. I do not want to guilt anyone who counts calories, diets, or overall wants to watch what they put into their body. I am a track and field and cross country coach, a preschool teacher, and a mom. I know the importance of being careful what you put into your body. I also know the importance of your mental health when it comes to taking care of your body.
So – why do we feel guilty when we do something/eat something/buy something that we want?
Because we are programmed to feel that way. To not accept pleasure. To give more than we take. To please others.
I want to stop the guilt – not be a stone cold jerk – but – Eat the cake, or buy the dress, or go to the movies alone because we want to be alone – or say no to plans that don’t work for us. At the end of the day – being happy – truly happy – is so much more important than a number on the scale, the calories consumed – or the balance in our bank account.
So what can we do to stop this guilt?
For me, it means scheduling things I love. I go get my nails done every few weeks- no polish – just a naked manicure, cleaning my cuticles, a 30 minute period where someone else is taking care of me.
It means signing up for races I want to run and then doing them – no matter what my time will be, no matter how little prep time I have because of life.
It means going out with friends once a month, continuing to sing in the group I love, and coaching track and cross country because I love helping others.
And every now and then – it means eating the cupcake.
What do you do to lessen your guilt, and increase your happiness.