People often post what a difference a year makes. But – it isn’t until you experience such a year that you truly understand how a year can change everything.
It isn’t so much the dates, the travel of time, but rather, the collection of events that make up that year.
One year ago today, I was just returning home from travel. I had gone on a one week cruise, and then the day after returning from that, I had driven to South Carolina by myself for a training for my business a the time. I then drove over night by myself to get home, and was awake for 25 hours – I don’t recommend this.
So of course, on the Monday when I was feeling ill, I assumed I had caught a bug. I upped my fluids, took some vitamin C, and went to bed early. The next morning I woke up with a fever. Not a large one – or so I thought.
When my body was shaking, and my neck was so stiff I couldn’t turn my head, I knew I needed to panic – a little.
I went to the doctor, and turns out I had a fever of 103- too high for an adult. And the combination of fever, stiff neck, and overall malaise led me to earn a trip to the ER. When I waited for 4 hours with chills to be seen.
2 failed spinal taps, more blood draws than I remember, 3 MRI, one MRA, and several doctors later. I left the hospital with a diagnosis of A-Septic Meningitis.
11 days in patient, in a bed, unable to move takes more of a toll on your body than you realize.
I had a walker, and had PT to relearn how to walk. I had zero balance or stability for the first few weeks. It took 2 months – but I was almost back to normal walking at that point. and as a runner – this was hard to deal with.
I dove back in to coaching my track and field athletes, teaching little minds at the preschool, cooking food for my family, and closing my business. Before it was even a thing – I Marie Kondo’d my life.
The after ripples are there. My memory still isn’t 100%, and every once in a while I have a tremor in my weakened right hand, and I have one more follow up with the neurosurgeon to be sure the “bent vein” in my brain is not an Aneurysm. Those things are so trivial compared to where I was one year ago. I was telling my family my wishes, loving my children, and having long talks with my husband about what I wanted for each of them. I DO NOT remember most of my inpatient stay – just bits and pieces sewn together like a movie on the silver screen.
I was so discouraged, but then so hopeful. Medication started to work, PT made me stronger, and I had a fighting spirit in me to do more – to be more – to help others do the same.
Today – one year later, I am in possession of 3 medals from two races this weekend. One for the 10K I ran on Saturday, and one for the Half Marathon I ran on Sunday – the other – a medal for completing the challenge of running both races.
These races weren’t easy, and they definitely don’t define all of me – but – they did remind me how much I love to run – how good I feel when I complete a race – and the camaraderie of runners. As I defined on Facebook hours after the race – A runner is a different breed of human.
A year of fighting with my body – working through the pain and the tears – being unabashedly selfish. Doing the things I needed to do for me, my family, my health – to be sure we have the time together we want to have – those are the things I have done to make things better for us.
For me
Because it wasn’t until months later I truly realized that I almost died – and through almost dying – I realized the things that made me want to live – that I live for – that bring me Joy – and I made room for them. All of them.
I intend to keep running – and find a way to make my running mean more for others – sharing this story is a huge part of it.
Want to hear about my races – find those here:
And – today – I am signing up for 2 more races – and will be completing this race again next year! Want to join me? stay tuned!
We are measured by numbers from the very beginning. We learn that these numbers hold value. They define who we are. People see us as the skinny or fat baby, the tall or short child, the rich or poor person based on numbers.
A number can never compare to the worth a person feels inside. The sense of accomplishment and wonder someone feels as they rise above a challenge and grow from it. No number can ever replace that feeling.
