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March 7, 2019 By Melendy Johnson 4 Comments

Stopping the guilt

How often do we guilt ourselves about the things in front of us?

The cookies in the staff room, the cake at the party, the cheese on our taco…

I have had an unhealthy relationship with food for a large part of my life. I eat my feelings, I am over weight, under nourished, and often guilt myself out of eating what I want because I don’t think it is what I “need”.

Today is my mom’s birthday. I knew there would be cupcakes in the staff room. I knew we would be encouraged to eat them, and I knew that I would want one. I dreaded eating it. I have been eating healthier options, smaller portions, and upping my hydration. So eating a cupcake the size of Texas was not in line with what I had been wanting to do for my health.

But you know what – I ate the fucking cupcake.

I ate it because I wanted to. Because I knew that cupcake was worth the calories in. I knew that celebrating my moms birthday was worth more than my waistline. I do not want to guilt anyone who counts calories, diets, or overall wants to watch what they put into their body. I am a track and field and cross country coach, a preschool teacher, and a mom. I know the importance of being careful what you put into your body. I also know the importance of your mental health when it comes to taking care of your body.

So – why do we feel guilty when we do something/eat something/buy something that we want?

Because we are programmed to feel that way. To not accept pleasure. To give more than we take. To please others.

I want to stop the guilt – not be a stone cold jerk – but – Eat the cake, or buy the dress, or go to the movies alone because we want to be alone – or say no to plans that don’t work for us. At the end of the day – being happy – truly happy – is so much more important than a number on the scale, the calories consumed – or the balance in our bank account.

So what can we do to stop this guilt?

For me, it means scheduling things I love. I go get my nails done every few weeks- no polish – just a naked manicure, cleaning my cuticles, a 30 minute period where someone else is taking care of me.

It means signing up for races I want to run and then doing them – no matter what my time will be, no matter how little prep time I have because of life.

It means going out with friends once a month, continuing to sing in the group I love, and coaching track and cross country because I love helping others.

And every now and then – it means eating the cupcake.

What do you do to lessen your guilt, and increase your happiness.

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Reader Interactions

Trackbacks

  1. recharge...or rebuild - Melendy & Steve says:
    March 23, 2019 at 2:41 pm

    […] 5 – I do not stop myself from trying new things, or having things I love. If you say no to yourself, you only make […]

    Reply
  2. Be you - Melendy & Steve says:
    March 28, 2019 at 12:20 pm

    […] we hold firm to them. If you like Grey – Like grey! If you want butter on your bread – have the butter. If you in your heart need to move, sing, dance or jump to be happy – do […]

    Reply
  3. Mental Health and our family (contains sensitive content - trigger warning) - Melendy & Steve says:
    March 30, 2019 at 2:17 pm

    […] Health affects everyone. Including me. This is a hard post to write, and It is written with the consent of our son, who is still […]

    Reply
  4. Snacks for Track - what we pack and why... - Melendy & Steve says:
    June 21, 2019 at 10:10 pm

    […] 7 – Cookies. I know, I know…cookies are to healthy. HOWEVER – as a coach I really enjoy when at the end of a long day my athletes grab a cookie and smile. Whether they won, lost, had a personal best, or tripped – they worked hard. I believe that a little something sweet and the smile it brings is worth it! also – see – stopping the guilt. […]

    Reply

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