Surviving

Author note – I wrote this a year ago – and I was afraid to hit publish who am I to talk about survival – but – I did survive – I am publishing today as a part of the story I tell a year out – A look at my fresh memories here – and the recent Memories here -also – a look at who I am here –

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The other side of Survival…

As a mom, heck as a woman, often times we get ill, and don’t do anything about it.
We think to ourselves it is just a cold, or the flu, or upset stomach and we do nothing about it. Sometimes- we don’t even do the resting we need to fully recover.
In February of this year(2018), I was blessed with an amazing month of travel. It started with the LuLaRoe Cruise. 7 nights on a ship with my husband, and so much training for my business. It was a dream vacation, and I loved every minute of it!
Then I got home, and drove from Rhode Island to South Carolina, for the Facebook Live Sale training that LuLaRoe offered. I drove there to save money, and drove home rather quickly.
I say all this to preface the “I am just tired/rundown/its the flu” that lead up to my very serious illness.

FULL DISCLOSER – My illness was not caused by this travel.

I got home from South Carolina, and I still had mild vertigo from the cruise. Then I gathered a headache, then I started to get a stiff neck…then the fever. I assumed it was the flu. So- the Monday feeling was- I just need a nap and more fluids, It must be the flu…
Tuesday morning was when the neck stiffness started, and it just got worse, so – by noon I called the doctor, made an appointment, and went in. For some reason I packed a bag – Just clothes, headphones, chargers, and toiletries. I guess I always pack a “just in case” bag. Deep down I was scared.

My doctor took my temp, and said – you aren’t going home…the rest is a blur… 9 days inpatient, MRI, MRA, Ct, X-ray, 2 Spinal Taps, Gallons of blood (or so it felt), crappy hospital food, basic TV, missed Track events, hours alone, 3 days of isolation, Home with a walker, and home confinement, no driving, 4 meds, learning how to walk, trying to be a mom, rebuilding my business, self care, and being a wife, a friend, a sister, a daughter…I almost died…

I almost died…

That is the hardest thing to think about – because to me – I was just in pain. As each scan happened, incidental things would show up, blood work had a few flags. Nothing scary came back – in the end – Meningitis – which would have killed me if I had stayed on the couch and believed it was just the flu.

Now I don’t write this to scare you – but to talk about how surviving this scary ordeal was something I had to embrace. I had to admit I was sick, Admit I needed help, Go through the scans, and tests, and USE the freaking walker, and Allow all of our friends and family to bring us food, and I had to follow doctors orders and rest. For a month I was in bed by 6, and walking up and down the stairs was exhausting. I am now just over two months into recovery – two months into my new life, and I have discovered that survival, recovery, listening, take time.

My mindset was “It isn’t cancer. or It isn’t an aneurysm, or it wasn’t a car accident…But the reality is – I had to accept that I was sick, that I survived, and that I am in recovery.

What have you survived, and how did you recover? What would you suggest to others to help them cope?